Scientific Report Homo Sapien Americus Redneckia

Today I'd like to give you a closer insight into what it means to be that special type of Southerner . . . the Redneck.

First off, let's talk about the name. Redneck. Hmm, why on earth is there such a name? Well, the traditions of the name carry with it agrarian roots. Rednecks also liked being called "Sons of the Soil" (but not so much "Daughters of Dirt" ). The red neck of the Redneck traditionally came from working hard in the fields on the crops (such as cotton, tobacco, soybeans, corn, wheat and other essential flora). Now, this has become less true. The Redneck of today has more than likely gained his/her distinctive marking from long hours in the hot sun drinking Busch or Busch Light and watching NASCAR waiting for the all important crash. It is not uncommon for the Redneck to also have another distinctive marking: the Farmer's Tan. This marking has also changed in its progenitation. Most Rednecks will have gained a Farmer's Tan from long hours either in the backyard vegetable patch growing pumpkins, sweet potatoes and water melons or from driving long hours with arms out the window while en route to a NASCAR event.

The Redneck has also been greatly disparaged as of late. Many are accused of ignorance, racism and blind patriotism. This is, generally speaking, untrue; this actually fits that unique species Homo Sapien Bushus Georgiat No-Win-An-Election-Legally-ostus.

The true Redneck is actually very genial, known for friendliness, generosity, respectfulness and an excellent work ethic. Despite this, there are those who do not fit the avergae mold. Below I have added a collection of photographs with commentary. It is hoped that after viewing these images you might make an informed opinion about this unique species.




Here we see the typical living quarters of a Redneck in a non-typical colour scheme and environment. Rednecks do love to express themselves in bright colours and other extravagent means. The barren and rubbish strewn area is not typical as Rednecks tend to like and live around natural vegetation as it attracts animals which might otherwise be taken as food.



Here we see the natural creativity and ingenuity of the Redneck. As many of the species enjoy and live near a body of water, this type of (as they call it) "house boat" is not a surprise. Note the upper deck with access ladder and attached outboard motor to the rear.





Here we see a creative example of the mechanical prowess of the Redneck. The species is known for its deep set loyalty, be it to a moment in history, a group, a cultural ideology, a region or even a television show. This example is proof of such loyalty and was used as a means of transportation for a wedding ceremony. While the photograph does not show, the doors are inoperable but the windows are fully functional. Apparently, the Redneck enjoys "slidin' through the winder" as they say.




The mechanical abilities and resourcefulness of the Redneck also has led to many interesting forms of family transportation. This is a fine example of how much the Rednecks enjoy recreational activities while outdoors.