Observational Collectiveness of Stuff

Anniversary thematic motifs

2007-04-10T20:50:00.000+09:30

Yes, yes, yes . . . I know, a motif is thematic by nature but I couldn't resist being redundant in my subject title. Don't ask why, it's just better that way.

Anyway . . . moving along . . . today is the third wedding anniversary for my wife and I. I have enjoyed these three years and look forward to a few more (just kidding, I look forward to many more but it's all a manner of how long she'll put up with me). I have a particular observational gripe, though, that I thought I might vent here.

Anniversaries are broken into yearly thematic groups. For instance, 1st anniversary is paper and 2nd anniversary is cotton and so on. This may or may not be the traditional association, as there are many interpretations and modifications to this, a simplistic capitalistic ploy to make married people spend even more money.

The 3rd anniversary, or so I have been led to believe, is . . . (drum roll) . . . leather. Yes, that's right, cow hide. Uh huh. The other two were understandable and even workable. Leather, mind you, does conjure up images in the mind but not ones I tend to hold close when I'm thinking about my anniversary. I also knew that the whips, dominatrix motif would not go over well with my wife. We're sensible folk, you see.

I say the whole thing should be re-done so the thematic items are more practical and sensible. I say something like this:

1st anniversary: cash (as in, receive it from other people)
2nd anniversary: car (same as above)
3rd anniversary: nice tool set, with a good selection of sockets for a ratchet (to keep the car running)

and so on . . . which might mean that the items become something like stainless steel, vulcanised rubber, tempered polyurethene plastic and so on . . .

Eh, it's just an idea.

Iconic tragedy

2007-03-11T19:59:00.000+10:30

As some of you might know, I'm a fan of the classic (perhaps VERY classic) Marvel superhero Captain America. Now, say what you want about him and cast all the derision you care to as it will not change my mind. Cap has undergone some serious changes since his first appearance in March of 1941 . . . if you really care for the research low-down, Wikipedia has a fantastic article here.

So, being one of the true founding members / characters of the now massive Marvel enterprise (the folks who have brought you Spiderman, The Fantastic Four, The X Men, Daredevil and so on) you would expect Steve Rogers / alias Captain America to receive some credit and accolades for his 66 years of hard work.

Yet I found out some of the saddest and cruelest news today: Captain America was brought down by two assassin bullets in issue #25. This news is big enough to garner CNN coverage, USA Today and even Howard Stern. I, like many others, cry out "WHY HAS THIS BEEN DONE?!"

I guess if Cap had to go out some way it's best he go out defending people's rights. Yet, he was shot down on the steps of a federal court house . . . not once, but twice.

This is a heavy blow to me because this is one of my childhood heroes . . . imagine Optimus Prime killing off the Voltron team (the original guys in the lions, not that car crap) only to be cut to bits by the Thundercats who are later obliterated by He-Man and his crew who . . . well, you get the picture. Needless to say I am not happy and do not like it one bit.

For those of you who are interested, here's a picture of Cap fallen on the court house steps:

Now, through some clever researching and following up (seeing as I no longer collect the comics and graphic novels, the last one I purchased being back in 1994 or 1995 if not earlier) I was able to dig some things up regarding this "death":
-the comic never shows Cap dead in any frame, only mortally wounded
-another superhero, Ms. Marvel, states that Cap is not dead but "...tucked away safe on the Raft... They're trying to save his life even as we speak". (Wikipedia article on Captain America)

So, is this a clever ruse to pick up sales? If so, I still disapprove. One of the most legendary heroes of the Marvel universe being brought down like some celebrity rapper from a drive-by. It makes him look like a chump if you ask me. Other heroes, when they've died, have had magnificent opus-claiming death scenes (like Superman). Not Cap. No, he gets shot like a simple victim of violent crime.

All stop here before I get too worked up to make a coherent sentence. For those of you interested, here is another link I use to stay abreast of Cap news:
"Captain America-The Web Page"

Long live Cap . . . wherever he is . . .

Mr. No Rhythm goes into the world of music . . . maybe

2007-03-10T10:34:00.000+10:30

I realised some time ago that I had not blogged for . . . well, some time. This is largely due to the keen observation powers of my wife and a few good friends (those of you who actually read this thing).

So, viola! Here's a new blog entry. Let's make believe it hasn't been since November '06 since I last did an entry.

The school I work at recently received a much needed shipment of instruments for our students. In the shipment was a clarinet, which I was excited to see and have now taken home with me.

Let me explain some back history here:

Way back in year 7 and 8 in school (oh, 1990 or so if my mathematical skills hold up) I was in the school band and played the clarinet. Not the base clarinet, just the normal "Benny Goodman" looking type. As you can tell my knowledge of my instrument has faded some.

I learned to play on a rather nice, antique instrument that my father also learned to play on. If I'm not mistaken it was made of rosewood or some other beautifully sounding and appearing wood with silver plated keys. The instrument, as I remember it, was an impressive sight.

After ceasing lessons in year 8 I didn't pick up the instrument in a few years and even then only rarely just to put it together, to play a few notes and such and that would be it.

Fast forward to now . . . 17 years have passed since my last official lesson. My passion for the instrument resurged when the music teacher at my school recommended that I, even in my utter lack of talent, join the staff soul band. I agreed on condition that an instrument be procured for me and I receive lessons. Well, the conditions have been partially met with only lessons to be formalised.

I'm now the holder of a black acrylic body, stainless steel key standard Yamaha clarinet. According to some websites it's a very good beginner instrument as it is sturdy and forgiving. Well, that's good. My dream, though, is to have my old antique beauty shipped to me from back home in the States. I hope that it is still in good condition as it was re-conditioned when I began playing it. Will those years (at least 10) of little use and much storage have slowly weathered away the pads, slowed the keys or made the cork rings crack?

Anyway, wish me luck on this (my newest) adventure.

Scientific Report Homo Sapien Americus Redneckia

2006-11-05T11:36:00.000+10:30

Today I'd like to give you a closer insight into what it means to be that special type of Southerner . . . the Redneck.

First off, let's talk about the name. Redneck. Hmm, why on earth is there such a name? Well, the traditions of the name carry with it agrarian roots. Rednecks also liked being called "Sons of the Soil" (but not so much "Daughters of Dirt" ). The red neck of the Redneck traditionally came from working hard in the fields on the crops (such as cotton, tobacco, soybeans, corn, wheat and other essential flora). Now, this has become less true. The Redneck of today has more than likely gained his/her distinctive marking from long hours in the hot sun drinking Busch or Busch Light and watching NASCAR waiting for the all important crash. It is not uncommon for the Redneck to also have another distinctive marking: the Farmer's Tan. This marking has also changed in its progenitation. Most Rednecks will have gained a Farmer's Tan from long hours either in the backyard vegetable patch growing pumpkins, sweet potatoes and water melons or from driving long hours with arms out the window while en route to a NASCAR event.

The Redneck has also been greatly disparaged as of late. Many are accused of ignorance, racism and blind patriotism. This is, generally speaking, untrue; this actually fits that unique species Homo Sapien Bushus Georgiat No-Win-An-Election-Legally-ostus.

The true Redneck is actually very genial, known for friendliness, generosity, respectfulness and an excellent work ethic. Despite this, there are those who do not fit the avergae mold. Below I have added a collection of photographs with commentary. It is hoped that after viewing these images you might make an informed opinion about this unique species.

Here we see the typical living quarters of a Redneck in a non-typical colour scheme and environment. Rednecks do love to express themselves in bright colours and other extravagent means. The barren and rubbish strewn area is not typical as Rednecks tend to like and live around natural vegetation as it attracts animals which might otherwise be taken as food.

Here we see the natural creativity and ingenuity of the Redneck. As many of the species enjoy and live near a body of water, this type of (as they call it) "house boat" is not a surprise. Note the upper deck with access ladder and attached outboard motor to the rear.

Here we see a creative example of the mechanical prowess of the Redneck. The species is known for its deep set loyalty, be it to a moment in history, a group, a cultural ideology, a region or even a television show. This example is proof of such loyalty and was used as a means of transportation for a wedding ceremony. While the photograph does not show, the doors are inoperable but the windows are fully functional. Apparently, the Redneck enjoys "slidin' through the winder" as they say.

The mechanical abilities and resourcefulness of the Redneck also has led to many interesting forms of family transportation. This is a fine example of how much the Rednecks enjoy recreational activities while outdoors.

more blogs of friends

2006-11-05T11:32:00.000+10:30

This one will be quick. The following is a very short list of two more blogs you might like. They're both from friends so I take no responsibility for the content:

Sunburned Country

The Hofmann Chronicles

I've been told that my dear wife has a blog as well . . . I cannot confirm nor deny this allegation. If you had information leading to the capture of this blog, please let me know. Just kidding . . . seriously, though, I don't know if she really does and if she does I don't know the address.

Oddities of the world

2006-11-05T11:14:00.000+10:30

Well hello again dear reader . . . it has been some time since I've posted on here. I won't offer an excuse, as I haven't really offered one in the past when I didn't write a post in millenia. Let me just jump into this one . . .

So, while the world seems all crazy and bent out of shape (i.e. North Korea and nuclear weapons, rising death toll in Iraq, hectic mid-term elections in the U.S., increasing violence world wide, etc) I thought I'd try to spread some chuckles and introspection.

Now, one might not usually combine laughter and deep, stoic thought but I'm going to try. Let me preface all of this first. We live in a rather typical neighborhood on a usually quiet street with access to two main roads. We have rarely had any trouble with the neighbors aside from a few dogs who bark at very odd and inconvenient hours and the occasional person who either wants to cut the grass or do home renovations at 7 am on a Saturday. A small apartment block is right beside us and I haven't seen or interacted much with the inhabitants. I do know they're mostly migrants, like myself, from places in Asia and the Middle East (not like myself).

What I want to write about is not so much these neighbors but hard rubbish collection. On most hard rubbish days you'll see an odd assortment of stuff. I've talked about it in a way previous post (go check the archives because I can't be bothered making a link). As of late, our migrant neighbors have taken to leaving hard rubbish collection materials at least once a week.

Some very odd stuff has made its way out onto the footpath . . . such as a pink little girl's bicycle complete with plastic white basket on the front, three orange plastic chairs (the likes of which you usually see in a school or church social hall), a framed motivational poster with the glass broken (the poster, interstingly enough was a jungle scene and had a message about perseverance) and another framed poster with the glass broken but this time it was a tourist promotional spread for the Northern Territory.

For some reason these items get left out . . . then the next day they've moved to another side of the street or further up or down the same side of the street. Does this stuff migrate? I've never stayed up all night watching. The thought of me in night-vision goggles watching to see if inanimate objects left as refuse will begin to move of their own accord is not one I want to really entertain. But, in addition to the stuff moving about it also seems to disappear then reappear. I've seen the bicycle left out on six different occasions, sometimes with the chairs and sometimes with large boxes for a refrigerator or television. The posters have never made reappearances, though. Just the bicycle and chairs.

It seems sad that these items have been discarded and neglected not only by the inhabitants of the flat next to us, but also by the hard rubbish collectors and every person who has travelled along our street. While the old saying might go "one man's trash is another man's treasure" this stuff seems to have been universally stamped "TRASH."

All right, so all of that wasn't too funny and didn't likely spark any thoughts . . . oh well, yet another promise unfulfilled.

So, anyone want a pink bike or some orange chairs?

Musical cleaning tour

2006-07-31T17:44:00.000+09:30

So, I thought I'd do a post that's way off my usual topic. I think the world is far too serious and negative at the moment so I want to do a post that's far more light and positive.

This here ol' topic will come in two sub-categories: music . . . and . . . cleaning house

Here's the deal: I listen to music when I go about cleaning the house. This cleaning activity is not often, I'll admit to that. It usually follows along the gentle prodding of my dear wife and is further inspired by the fact that people will be coming over to visit. While I'm far more laissez-faire about the whole tidiness business. I figure that if these folks are really our friends will they mind the inch or two of dog hair on our hard wood floors? Of course not. Seeing as my marriage is based on mutual trust, cooperation, love, devotion and democratically sponsored team-work I end up doing what my wife tells me to do.

Before I even begin the arduous task of cleaning and sweeping and the like I have to select appropriate music. There's something about a good tune that can make a boring job that much easier. While I've been knownt to have some ecclectic selections for my "cleaning beats" I've gotten rather fixed upon a particular album. This album, while I can and do enjoy it outside of domestic chores, manages to make me feel energetic and ready to face daunting tasks.

What album is this amazing mind influencer? Why it's Mozart's Requiem. I don't know, there's just something about a powerful choir musically screaming "REX . . . REX" that makes me want to beat the ever-lovin' tar out of dust bunnies, tooth paste scum or ancient grease. Granted there are some slower movements to ol' Amadeus' work; there are some down right aggresively powerful (nearly Orf-ian) movements as well. I do try and not think how the music was intended as a cover piece for both his father's and his own funeral. Such thoughts would make me not feel so good about sweeping a floor. Instead I listen to some folks singing in Latin with what, I believe, is a rather strong but efficient accent as if they were all Germans and were pretending to be happy but very serious at the same time.

So next time your knee deep in some household chemicals attempting to perform barely legalised warfare on soap scum think to yourself if beautifully, no, angelically, sung "Kyrie Eleison" might lift your spirits . . .

The double-standard marches on

2006-07-20T19:02:00.000+09:30

At lot has happened in the world since my last post in June. It seems the world is yet again about to tear itself apart. While I definitely deplore (despise, hate, condemn, you name it) the violence in Israel and Lebanon, I've decided to do this post on something else. Before I do jump topic let me say that it is sickening and disheartening that the major governments of the world are idly sitting by while Israel commits hideous atrocities to innocent civilians in a government sanctioned act of aggression. So what's the message? As long as your not Muslim it's o.k. to commit some act of terrorism as long as it's against other Muslims? Let that double-standard example stay in your mind while I move on to my main topic . . .

Good ol' G.W. Bush has finally used his veto power as president. The mispronouncing, golf club-swinging, aggressive cowboy got up off his ass and decided to veto something after 5 1/2 years of being in office. What got Bush moving? Stem cell research.
Ah yes, the evils of science! Knowledge and progress are apparently evil things in this world. Does that mean that universities, cancer research foundations and diabetes research groups are now part of the Axis of Evil?

The veto, itself, didn't really rile me up . . . per se. It did upset me that Bush would stop funding to legitimate, and needed, medical research. It all just proves that Bush doesn't attack so-called military targets but he also goes against social targets too ("No Child Left Behind", a crusade against evil education and now a medical research veto).

What really made me laugh in a "this is insanely ridiculous" kind of way was Bush's statement during a White House press conference. Bush claims that the research "crosses a moral boundary that our decent society needs to respect."

Uh huh. So, this moral boundary is nothing like the one that was trampled during the invasion of Iraq? And our decent society is the same that has agreed to The U.S. Patriot Act? As for respect, I didn't know Bush actually understood, much less could pronounce, the word.

So kids, a review of Bush's new moral math works like this:
Military agression and killing of civilians in countries outside the U.S. that speak poorly of Bush = GOOD

Government funding for research to find cures to childhood diabetes, paralysis and Parkinsons disease = BAD

Now class, go review for our next test on Bush ideology: Why Rich People Are Better Than Everyone Else

Once again, reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated

2006-06-14T19:53:00.000+09:30

Well it's been nearly (or over) two months since my last post. Yes, I know, I'm a shocking slacker. No surprise there, though, as I warned people about this possibility with my first post. Anyway . . . in an attempt to get back up to speed I'll keep this post short. For some reason I haven't found much in the world that has been humorous or amusing. It would seem the entire world has gone very serious. Perhaps I'm just preoccupied with work and domestic issues like most middle-class folk.

I digress . . . my particular gripe and post today is about the odd crap that arrives in my junk e-mail folder. I had a stretch there, for a while, in which I only received stuff in Chinese or Japenese. As my Anglo-script e-mail server isn't prepared to handle such type the titles of these messages usually ended up as nicely coloured boxes and diamonds.

Recently the junk mail has taken a new track . . . bad English subject lines. I believe most of them are just an attempt to not be flagged and blocked by the server but some are rather amusing.

Here's an example of one that is an obvious typo to avoid being blocked by a mail server:
"Homel of your drleams" . . . hmm, is a homel like a hovel? Are drleams more like really lame and boring dreams?

On the other side of the coin are the subject lines that verge on being Engrish or Japlish (or some other Asian-English bastardised equivalent):
"Someone Tells me what is Ephedra?" - - - Hmm, is this really a question or more of a statement of outrage?

"Your life lolve is nowl going too" - - - I don't really know what in the world to say or think about that one.

And on that note, I'll leave this post.

Update about my beer

2006-02-15T19:53:00.000+10:30

Writing this post I can't help but feel like some grandparent bragging about their grandchildren. My case doesn't sound as good, though.

"Hey you, stranger, have you seen a picture of my beer?"

Not only that, but if I were the type described above it would be more like the grandparent who is proud of the hideously ugly and stupid grandchild. From that you might be able to tell my initial impressions about my beer I made.

I will give my beer some credit:
(1) I sampled it after it bottle fermented for the minimum period of time (two weeks) and, thus, it did not have time to properly mature. The lesson learned from this one? Never drink immature beer.

(2) My beer has a delightful smell to it that is slightly hoppy, slightly sweet and destincitvely of good beer. Just remember looks, and smells, can be deceiving.

(3) My beer has a nice colour and produces a thick head. Just remember what I ended #2 with.

. . .

So, my complaint? The taste is . . . well . . . a bit strong. The initial taste is aggressive and the after-taste is rather bitter and VERY aggressive. I guess the advantage to this is that I know the beer will be strong. I'm just hoping that, with time, the taste becomes more palatable.

Moving day and the couch of sin

2006-01-21T21:38:00.000+10:30

The wife and I moved into a new house last week and are once again in the "rent-a-house" game. Oh, what fun. Actually it is nice to be in a house with a fenced in backyard that the dear "fur kid" can run rampant about before collapsing of heat exhaustion.

Before I get too involved in this post, here's a thought of mine I had about the whole moving experience: I have always moved during the summer.

Is this true for everyone else? I mean, why not move during more tolerable temperatures such as in spring or autumn? For some reason I have always moved in summer which has meant that I've dealt with over 100 percent humidity and 90 to 100 degree heat (degrees F) while I was back home in the U.S. Now I know that over 100 percent humidity should mean that the air is water, but this unique condition can happen and the air still remain air . . . barely. Such weather means you don't so much walk about and co-exist with the air as you wear it like some means of penanace for sins. Since moving to Australia (I moved during the American summer, go figure) I have now moved two or three times and each time in the heat of summer . . . summer here meaning 40 plus degree heat (degrees C), little humidity but a sun that will make you catch fire within 15 minutes. What can you say about a country that lives with a massive hole in the ozone later directly over it?

Anyway . . . when you move you begin to realise just how quickly a person's life can attract crap. It might not seem like crap while you're still living in the particular residence but it becomes crap. While you pack you question why you ever obtained these little odds-and-ends of crap. It's sort of like a person is a star and they attract detritus and debris because of their gravity well . . . Thankfully our own sun cannot shed our planet like we shed our orbiting crap when we move.

When you move you also come across those items of furniture that either
(a) appear light but are VERY deceiving (like a feather but in intensely heavy gravity)
(b) appear heavy and are only telling a quarter of the truth (like a largish person trying to fit into oh-so tight clothes)

I was lucky enough to encounter two such items of furniture.

My item (a) is what I'd like to call the couch of sin. Now, this name is not meant to carry any adult over tones about the persons who have used the couch or activities done on said couch. Instead, it's more like this:
imagine a couch . . . make it blue . . . make it a sleeper-sofa couch . . . imagine all of the sin in the world as weight . . . imagine this couch weighing as much as all of the sin in the world . . . make this couch a size near impossible to get through doors. What fun. Some how, some way, the blue sleeper-sofa couch of sin made it out of one house and into a new house. This, of course, required the item to be manuevered in every conceivable direction possible in the three-dimensions we know as our universe.

My item (b) is what I'd like to call the Narnia-reject wardrobe. Let's play the imagine game again with this one:
imagine a two door wardrobe . . . make it white . . . make it old and splotched with stains that cannot fit into scientific description . . . imagine that it looks very heavy to move . . . imagine that it looks rather happy staying where it is . . . imagine your wife insists the wardrobe move house.
Now, I've moved heavy furniture in my life. I have never moved anything this heavy. Even the sleeper-sofa couch of sin is light in contrast to this thing. It was like trying to move a galaxy, but not a neat, little one in a necklace like in the movie "M.I.B."

Thankfully both items were moved, along with all of our other prized and not-so prized belongings. We are now deep in the process of un-packing . . . this means discovering things long since thought lost and not finding other things you just knew you had a day ago.

Such is life.

Heat wave beer time

2006-01-21T21:26:00.000+10:30

Well, it's been some time since I've made a post . . . nearly a month by my calculations. So, a happy (belated) New Year to everyone and a merry (very belated) Christmas. With that out of the way, time to get to the post.

So, it's summer here in Australia and Adelaide is one of (if not the) hottest major city in the entire country as of the last weather report. Good ol' Adelaide has even out-scorched Alice Springs by about two or three degrees celsius. I believe that today's high was around 41 to 45 degrees . . . mmm, toasty. That meant that it was, oh, about a million inside the house (which we just moved in, see next post for details). We luckily have air-conditioning . . . in one room . . . nick-named the "cool room" as compared to the Dante's Inferno remainder of the house.

Well, on this hottest of the hot days I got an idea in my head to start a desparately procrastinated (perhaps not the correct adjectival clause?) project. Why not?! 40 plus degree heat? Who cares!

Thus begins my adventure into home brewing. I called on the support of my friend (who is also an American) to ensure quality and the like. Well, to those of you who are adept at home brewing you'll know that aside from clean equipment and good yeast, temperature control is one of the most important factors to consider. Most of the manuals will de-cry the foul of letting the wort and yeast get too cold. Hmph, not a problem today. I have not seen much mention about the brew getting too hot.

Ah, but desperation has been the mother of inventiveness. So, for most of today, I've been rather busy watching over my 21 litre "baby" and trying damn hard to keep the temperature at or below 30 degrees celsius. Yes, yes, I know . . . home brew experts and purists will decry this but I'd like to see them make a brew during a heat wave. Let's not even examine the logic and sense of attempting such a project in such weather.

Anyway . . . I'll keep you, dear reader, posted on the progress of the brewing. The hot weather is predicted to last for another few days. Well, at least I won't have to worry about a brew that gets too cold!

Would you be granted citizenship and allowed to vote?

2005-11-23T11:02:00.000+10:30

Here's another test . . . this one comes from my dear wife. The marvel of forwarded mail allows us to receive all sorts of crap and, as such, I have no idea where she originally got this particular item.

Anyway, I digress as usual. You may have heard in the news or by word of mouth (sounds like an urban legend to me) that the test for U.S. citizenship is rather demanding and, as thus, many natural born American citizens would not pass. Seeing as I have been a high school teacher in my past while I lived in the States I say that this is not too far from the truth. So, care to find out if you could actually pass a ten question sample of this test?

I scored 8 out of 10 and was told that I passed, thankfully. So that's proof that paying some attention to high school Government classes as well as taking a few while in University AND reading the newspapers regularly can pay off!

My wife, who is not a natural born U.S. citizen (or a U.S. citizen of any category for that matter) scored 5 out of 10. I thought that was respectable for someone who's not a citizen.

So, here's the political test
Go ahead and take it and let me know how you fare!

The joy of language

2005-11-23T10:47:00.000+10:30

I'm one of those odd people who likes language . . . the way a language evolves, the differences in a main language between the subtle dialects, the similarities between languages from the same "family" and so on.
Keeping in line with this interest is the following test. My dad, back home in America, sent me this link and it's kept me amused ever since. Apparently, the web page is a test, of sorts, that asks about how you pronounce words, what you call things and generally how you use English. The goal of the test is to give you a broad example of how "Yankee" or "Southern" your English sounds. It is for this reason that my non-American "viewers" might not find much use in this test. Granted, it could still be fun for all but a non-American English speaker might find it difficult to answer some of the questions regarding pronunciation.
Now, to give you an idea of the scoring system:

I scored around a 60% or so . . . my comment basically stated I was on the Mason-Dixon line. I feel that this is reasonably correct seeing as I've lost some of my accent being in Australia. Also, I was born in the northern most of the Southern states (yes it was and IS a southern state . . . the capital of the Confederacy was located in my homestate afterall).

My dad scored 89% . . . his comment stated something along the lines of whether or not he still used confederate money. While that's harsh I can see some truth in the test picking out his Southern vernacular. Afterall, he was born in North Carolina and the family roots are strong in both the Carolina states.

My wife, the Australian, took the test after I "encouraged" her. She saw absolutely no purpose in doing so and, as usual, thought I was an idiot. She scored around the 30% mark and was told she was very "Yankee" to which she took offense. You have to give the test some slack seeing as there is no "British" or "British Colonial" accent score.

Anyway, here's the link:

English On-line Dictionary (of sorts)

Ol' Pat must be hittin' the sauce again

2005-11-11T10:31:00.000+10:30

Well, he's in the news again for saying ridiculous crap all the while managing to include God and Christianity into the mix.

Who am I talking about? Our friend Pat Robertson, of course!

You remember Pat . . . he called for an assasination of Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez and, in '98 cursed Orlando with natural and terrorist doom because the city flew rainbow coloured flags in honour of sexual diversity.

Ol' Pat sure does love to sling the image of a hell-fire and brimstone God all over the place, usually to bash people who are too left-wing, non-conservative, or otherwise more open-minded than him.

So what has the old-folks home escapee done this time? He's cursed a small town in Pennsylvania to natural disastear doom. Why? Because the town democratically voted out all members of the school board. Why did the town vote them out? Because the school board was pushing to introduce intelligent design into the curriculum.

What does all this mean? Well, it seems that Pat thinks God hates democracy . . . especially when it means a loss to the Republican party and the Religious Right. So, does that make God a sore loser too?

It just seems a bit odd that a man who goes on his Christian show and talks about love, forgiveness, redemption and other nice things will (in nearly the same breath from the oxygen tank) go and cast death, destruction and doom on just about anyone.

. . . and people wonder why Christianity is getting a very bad name . . .

To find out more, just search for news articles covering:
-Pat Robertson
AND
-Dover, Pennsylvania
AND
-intelligent design

Casual abuse of an innocent service?

2005-11-11T10:24:00.000+10:30

Recently, some friends of my wife and I came to visit us. In order to do so they flew from their home city to our quaint little city. Yes, yes, I know, boring details . . . anyway . . .

One of our friends, we'll call her Wynona (all names changed to protect the innocent), has a tendency for eccentricity (to say the least). It seemed that when she showed up at the airport she was carrying several commemorative and/or collector lapel pins. So far nothing too unusual, right? Well, Wynona, fearing the almight wrath of airport security, was concerned her pins might cause a disturbance. With some quick, and odd ball, thinking she went to a gift shop and purchased a few envelopes. I'm sure you can guess what she did from there . . . yes, she proceeded to post the pins back to herself. To add some irony to the mix, once she boarded the aircraft the attendants handed out collector pins to the passengers . . . hmm . . .

So, I ask you all: is this an abuse of the Postal Service? Does a small touch of irony always strike when most needed? What would you have done in this same situation?

Electronic nostalgia

2005-10-18T07:18:00.000+09:30

Being nearly-perpetually close-to-poor (" . . . on a teacher's salary . . ."; U.S. Khia commercial joke) I've taken to looking on the internet for things that are free and fun.

No, this post will not be about cheap amateur porn. Go somewhere else for that.

Anyway, amongst all the crap of stuff out there I came across information about emulator programs. These things basically make your computer act and think as if it were another different system all together. The one I came across that really got me interested was a C-64 emulator . . . so I downloaded it (on my version of the world-wide wait because I still have dial-up).

Now you may be asking: why did you download something to make your computer think it's a C-64? Or, even, what in the world is a C-64?

Well, C-64 stands for Commodore 64 . . . no, this is not some naval term. It refers to a REALLY old school home computer system. Some people might recall them from when they were kids. I fondly remember the khaki coloured thing from when I was younger and my dad showed me how to program in BASIC. Wow, my "geek trainning" started early.

Anyway, coming across a C-64 emulator was like a blast from the way-deep past so I couldn't resist. I was jumping with excitement at the thought of being able to play the old games I remember from my youth, like: Zaxxon, Blue Max, Paper Boy, The Bard's Tale, Phantasie (1 through 3) and a score of others.

So, as I read through the user documentation I noticed that it said the emulator would make the computer run as if it were a C-64 . . . including operating speed, etc. This meant all the games would load as if the thing were a real C-64. No problem I thought . . . I remember being a kid and thinking "wow this game loaded fast!"

My how times have changed. Why I remember when 28.8 was a blazing fast modem speed . . . I remember when tapes were all the rage and could even be used like a computer disk . . . I remember when a big, ol' floppy disk seemed to load quickly.

Now is not the case any more. If you think Windows can get slow, try waiting for a C-64 to load a program. You have time to go make a sandwhich, walk the dog, wash the car and think about taking a shower all by the time the thing has loaded up. This used to be fast . . . and spandex used to be stylish.

Regardless of this, my nostalgia held firm and I still use the emulator on occaison (but I crank up the speed to 500% during loads). If you're really interested in a C-64 emulator (remember the funky, classic all blue screen?) just e-mail me and I'll tell you where I found mine.

My big, free trend at the moment deals with old DOS based games . . . at least these run on 486 or so equivalent emulators. You can find these things on Abandonware websites . . . but all of that is for another time . . .

What man hath made

2005-09-01T14:43:00.000+09:30

I'd like to start this post by sending out my sympathy, support and other positive messages to the victims of hurricane Katrina.

You, dear reader, have (perhaps) already become saturated with news and images from the U.S. Gulf Coast states where there is unprecedented destruction. In light of this harrowing natural disaster, I decided to do a post.

Now, with all the news and images going on about this tragic event, everyone is quite aware that there has been a good deal of damage. While some people are quick to report that it could have been worse, much worse at that, there is also the truth that it could have been far better (or, perhaps, less devastating). So, how could it have been worse? Well, monster Katrina could have slammed into Louisiana or any other Gulf state as a category five titan-of-a-storm. Instead she hit the Deep South as a still-frightening category four storm. That one category separation makes the world of difference. Had she been a category five there would have been very little of New Orleans, or any other coastal city, left after the storm made land-fall. Granted, these coastal cities did receive considerable damage and New Orleans is basically submerged . . . had the storm been a category five this would pale in comparison. This, by no means, should belittle or down-rate the scale of this tragedy.

On a side note, I give Australia the award for "Most Inappropriate Lack of Concern." Why? Well, it appears to be a deep run Aussie trait to find a connection between anything and everything and Australia and then brag or complain about it. Cricket or any other sport is a prime example, as is where particular America Cup racing ships are built. So, one of the first news reports I saw here in Australia about the devastation in the Deep South reported the tragedy in a very emotionless manner and paid little attention to the human suffering and more on the physical damage. What got me was the sudden change in tone from "distanced news report voice" to "deep National tragedy voice" as the report bemoaned the fact that Australia would suffer from this hurricane too because of high petrol prices. How in the hell is a high petrol price anything near the crushing loss of life and property suffered by the poor residents in those states hit by the storm? I mean it's like: "Yes, Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama in the U.S. have suffered severe damage from the storm . . . but (gnashing of teeth) oh dear God we are going to suffer just as much here because it's going to cost a fortune to fill up the ol' Holden!" Perhaps I'm over-reacting to the situation. Perhaps I want the tragedy to be the sole property of my birth country and not shared by any other nation. I can't defend that sentiment any bit . . . but this is how I feel.

So . . . back to my original point. How could all of this mess been alleviated? How could this have been made a note-worthy storm but not the destroyer of property and taker of life behemoth that it was? Well, if the U.S. Government had acted wisely then this could have been made much less worse than it is now. Believe it or not, ol' Bush can be partially blamed for some of the destruction and damage.

How, you ask? By withholding funds for essential works projects and cutting back on federal supported budgest of government groups responsible for these works. Basically, in a nut shell, because of the "War for Oil II" (also known as the Iraq Invasion, Gulf War II, War of U.S. Aggression, etc.) Bush had to cut funds to many projects and departments across the country. He had to pay for soldiers and equipment in order to ensure the lion's share of oil, after all. In the case of Louisiana, New Orleans in particular, this elimination of funding led to the devastation we see now. Before the illegal invasion of Iraq there were several government projects going on in New Orleans in order to upgrade and expand the existing levee system among other flood prevention measures. When the invasion began, the axe began to fall and these projects got the cut. Not all at first, mind you . . . these projects were gradually whittled down to the point of near uselessness. The end result was that by the time Katrina hit the city did not have any of its new and upgraded levees ready and in place. One key project happens to be on the levee for the 17th Street Canal, which finally burst and led to the flooding of the city.

And what was our fearless leader doing during all of this? He was on vacation. Yes, he did cancel it short and go to Washington and then take an aerial tour of the devastation but all because he claims he wants to manage the relief effort from the White House where it's easier. So, if that's true what the hell is the man doing on vacation to begin with when he's committed scores of troops to an on-going "country re-building" project (and, basically, a war) in Iraq? No wonder President Chavez of Venezuela called him a "cowboy" and the "king of vacations."

For a professional's view of the issue, read this article.

Let not a left-wing president live . . .

2005-08-28T20:15:00.000+09:30

Well now, this one was just too good to pass up. It seems the ever enlightened Pat Robertson, creater of the super-right-wing conservative power hour show The 700 Club, has made some social faux pas recently. It would appear that, un-beknownst to most of the world, portions of the Old Testament and New Testament of the Christian Bible have been edited. How so? Well, according to what Mr. Robertson has said it would appear that it's now perfectly legitimate to kill (assassinate, take out) a political leader because he / she is non-Conservative.

So, let's get the background on this interesting issue. All direct quotes here have been taken from these articles:
"Thou Shalt Kill the Venezuelan President"
"Venezuela Curbs Missionaries Over Threat"
"Robertson Apologises for Assassination Call"
"Evangelist Backs Off Chavez Assassination Call"
"Robertson Suggests U.S. Kill Venezuela's Leader"
My thanks to these good journalists for providing the information on this . . .

Anyway, let's do a quote by quote analysis of what Mr. Robertson actually said while on his television show

"We have the ability to take him (Chavez) out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability . . ."
-I don't think Robertson is suggesting that he or anyone else take Mr. Chavez out on a date. This almost sounds like a bad line from a bad gangster movie, doesn't it? Also, what's with this "we" business? Is Robertson a member of the U.S. Government or military? Nope. So, is this "we" an enigmatic allusion to some crack team of SWAT missionaries or Bible commandoes no one knows about? Hmm . . .

"If he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it . . ."
-Well, Chavez certainly thinks he's in danger now, after Robertson ran his pie-hole committing US forces to killing the man. This line here doesn't really leave much for the imagination or varied interpretations, does it? It's pretty damn clear what Robertson meant. Keep that in mind, especially when you read "back-peddle" #1.

"It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war. And I don't think any oil shipments will stop."
-Robertson is ever the pragmatic with this line and his "cost-benefit" analysis of the situation. How heart-warming and reassuring that a religious leader can think like that in terms of dollars, blood and oil. You might be able to draw your own conclusions about connections between the Iraq dilemma and oil based on this comment as well.

So now, you can imagine that this caused a bit of a stir when it aired. Imagine being the person receiving the phone calls at the Venezuelan embassy in D.C. "No, we haven't received any direct threats to our nation or our president . . . yes, aside from comments by Mr. Robertson . . ."

Also, Robertson (the expert on South American politics, economics and sociology that he is) claims good ol' Venezuela is "a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism . . ."
-Really now? Well, let's just dig up the corpse of Senator Joe McCarthy because I'm sure he wants in on this new Red Scare. That bit about Islam at the end of the quote has the feel of a second-thought add on, as if Robertson realised that communism isn't scary anymore so he threw in the Muslim extremism bogey man for good measure.

So now, enter "back-peddle" #1 Robertson's Quasi-Apology
"I didn't say 'assassination' . . ."
-Well, that's true . . . he just said "assassinate" . . . that makes it all better, doesn't it?

"I said our special forces should 'take him out.' And 'take him out' can be a number of things, including kidnapping . . ."
-Oh, so now Robertson is just endorsing the illegal capture and re-location of an elected official. Well, that's a sort of "warm and fuzzy" sentiment isn't it?

". . . there are a number of ways to take out a dictator from power besides killing him . . ."
-Well folks, be on the look out for the new book "101 NEW Ways to Dispose of an Un-Wanted Dictator" by Pat Robertson.

In his "back-peddle" #2 Robertson goes on to apologise but firmly places the blame on the AP for misinterpreting him.

So . . . could he have been misinterpreted? You decide.

The good intentions of the past

2005-07-24T17:09:00.000+09:30

Sometimes we forget good things that have been done in the past. Take the link below for instance that I came across. It's all about the Kellogg-Briand Pact, which now forms a crucial cornerstone for international law. To sum it up the Pact, signed by scores of nations since it's first inception in the late 1920's, states that the use of war is, essentially, illegal. Of course this does not make defensive mitliaristic measures illegal, but invasions and other aggressive uses of military are thus classified. It would appear everyone had good intentions but we sure as hell haven't followed up with them. Here's the link to the full article on the pact.

What can someone say about the ways of the world

2005-07-24T16:31:00.000+09:30

Hey there folks . . . It's been some time since I last posted something. There have been a slew of riotous world events recently, as you may have been made aware of via your local news provider. I have been debating for some time how I might respond to these violent actions. I even debated whether or not I would even trapse into the touchy world of geo-political commentary. So, after a great deal of thinking I decided that I would step up on my soap box and go ahead and tell the listening crowd what I have to say about the whole thing.

Well, let's take a quick review before I get going: there have been two bombing attacks in London within this month (or at least this many as of the date of this post); add this tally to the bombings and attacks in Iraq, Israel, Palestine and Egypt; finish the tally off with the school hostage shoot-out in Russia and the Sept 11th attacks in the U.S. I'm sure there are others that I've forgotten . . . once you start making the list it becomes incredibly huge.

Overall you get the picture that this is more than just a daunting issue. This is a frightening and depressing reality of the world. So here's where I stand:

-First off the killing of innocent people cannot, in my opinion, ever be justified. The adjective "innocent" is the real catch phrase there: without relation, guilt, etc. Regardless of where it happens, be it in a declared war zone or in a sudden attack in a peaceful residential area, the killing of bystanders is not acceptable.

-Despite how I might view the attacks, and the attackers, with disgust I cannot help but see some shreds of validity in their course of action. Basically, are they justified in attacking something they see as an aggressor? Well, they would be as justified as George Bush was in invading Afghanistan and Iraq. To tell the truth I don't feel either cases are justified; you can't have one but have the other. Yet all you have to do is look at the home countries of the attackers and then you see where the urge to attack comes from. Imagine your own home country is being overrun culturally, politically and militaristically by a foreign aggressor. You would want to do anything and everything in your power to remove this foreign threat from your home.

-The West cannot take the moral high-ground in this so-called "war on terror." Why? Refer yourself back to the invasion/war in Iraq and how it did not receive support or sanction from the U.N. What this amounted to was an illegal annexation. It would seem the Imperliastic Age, the one so glorified during the 1800's and early 1900's, is back. This invasion, and those related to it, have led to the deaths of thousands upon thousands of innocent bystanders. Think about this: if one of the defining characteristics of a terrorist is the killing of innocents, why isn't George Bush labeled a terrorist because of his order to illegally invade a sovereign nation? The West must realise that the problem of terrorism is being inflamed by the very actions the West has been taking in order to stop terrorism. It's like trying to put out a forest fire using gasoline.

-Terrorist groups should not use a religion, in which they have taken hideously out of context, to further their own causes. Terrorists might claim they act in the interests of a particular faith but, in truth, they act to further their own greed, hatred and other negative desires and passions. To use a religion, which has respect, lawfulness and love as some of its main tenets, as a means to encourage people to kill other innocents goes against the very essence of the religion supposedly supported. But the finger should not be solely placed on one particular religion. A quick survey of the major world religions will show you many conflicts "in the name of God." Take these examples:
Christianity: Crusades of the Middle Ages, the Spanish Inquisition
Islam: modern day terrorist attacks
Judaism: expansionistic attacks and conquests of the early Jewish nation under its kings chronicled in the Torah (Old Testament).

Basically we live in confused times. The terrorists are wrong for killing innocent people and for using misinterpreted slim selections of a religion to justify their killings. The nations of the West are wrong for bending and breaking international law to further their own causes as well as refusing to accept responsibility in the creation of an environment that fuels these extremists.

So what must be done? Oh, I'm not even going to venture into that area. To tell the truth, I don't really know. If you have any suggestions feel free to let me know.

Pot calling the kettle a cooking utensil

2005-06-29T11:10:00.000+09:30

I never intended this site to be one that would be filled with posts that lambast and roast famous people. I thought that would debase the material to the same level as a tabloid. Then I re-thought the issue and realised that I never intended for much journalistic integrity in the first place. I do promise, for now, that I will not fill the blog with posts about idiot celebrities. Take for instance how I've left that odd man Michael Jackson and his myriad issues alone.

Well, there's another odd, little man in Hollywood too and he deserves some negative attention. His name is: Tom Cruise.

So anyway, this smiling poster child of the Scientology movement has gotten into some negative press lately with a few recent interviews. I don't think I'll ever forget the comment: ". . . put your manners back in . . ." Classy stuff, that.

Well, in a recent interview he apparently called psychiatry a "pseudo-science." Apparently the medical study of the brain and its functions is not something real to this man. Yet that's not my biggest gripe. It's the comment itself, and his own beliefs, that made me laugh to myself. Cruise would have you believe that while psychiatry is fake, Scientology is a real solution to mental problems.

Uh huh. I see.

I'll let you come to your own conclusions on this one. To read an article about the interview, click on this link.

I have my own opinions

Your call has been placed in a que

2005-06-23T13:09:00.000+09:30

A friend of mine, knowing my love of asinine articles and ridiculous stories heavily laced with irony, sent me this article. Apparently even those in need will have to wait for the next available representative.

Medical Marvels!

2005-06-23T13:02:00.000+09:30

Do you remember playing with the "Mr. Potato Head" toy? Perhaps you even recall the joy and fascination with this brown, blobule shaped doll in that you could tack on and remove a variety of facial appendages and features. So, in that light of thinking, here's something to consider:

-Imagine how much fun it would be if you could take off and put back on various sticky-out bits of your face, perhaps swap your ears for dog ears one day or change a nose for one like a koala. The combinations are endless, as you see.

Well it seems that medicine has caught up with this possibility . . . sort of. No, I'm not talking about Michael Jackson, either. Apparently a woman in the U.K., after having plastic surgery, discovered that she could do something (sort of) similar to that of good old "Mr. Potato Head."

Check out the news article here

Now that just sounds odd

2005-06-23T10:39:00.000+09:30

English is an odd, hybrid language; think of it as the mutt of the Germanic root languages. We categorise it as a Germanic tongue but it also has tons of influence from Romance languages such as Latin and French as well as Greek. This all might explain why the language is so difficult to master; just because you can speak it coherently doesn't mean that all of the nuiances of the language have been learned. I'm not claiming to have done this by any leap of the imagination. But anyway . . . This mutt-like aspect of the language might also explain why we have some very odd words. I've got a few, in particular, that are monosyllabic and sound rather odd when said alone and/or many times in succession.
Take for instance these two: then, than
Yes, o.k. so they seem normal enough now. Try saying them by themselves several times over. It starts sounding odd . . .
Here's another: got
That word, when said alone and many times over starts to sound quite disgusting. Imagine something sort of like a mix between a clot and a glop.

If you skim through the dictionary you'll run across polysyllabic words that are rather funky in their own right. Here's one a friend of mine found:

defenestration: the act of placing or throwing, in a forceful manner, something through or out a window

That's one of those "can you believe there's a word for that" kind of things. The word doesn't work very well as a threat either: "Shut up or I'll defenestrate you!"
Hmm . . . odd sounding as well . . . sort of like a mix between defecate and castrate . . . oh, don't worry I won't go into any detail about that one.

Today in History 14th of June

2005-06-14T09:19:00.000+09:30

Here's another nifty factoid . . . something to satisfy my keen hunger for useless trivia:

-14th June 1983: NASA has a crowning moment of glory as the un-manned survelance spacecraft Pioneer 10 leaves the solar system. This is the first man-made object to leave the local neighborhood, so to speak. Before it pulled a runner on us Pioneer 10 sent back some excellent photos of Jupiter, among other things.

English is dead, long live English

2005-06-14T09:02:00.000+09:30

As some of you might know, I originally trained as a teacher . . . a highschool English teacher to be exact. I never thought of myself as a grammar police type of person; that is until now. Before I go into my rant I would like to placate a particular argument that may be used against this aforementioned rant. All languages do, indeed, evolve and mutate (for want of a better word) into newer forms as new linguistic elements are introduced from new population groups. I accept that as a given. I do not accept what I call "language-laziness" or "I-can't-be-bothered" syndrome. This apathy is rather contagious and has become increasingly prevalent with each passing year. My main sticking point for today is the use of the grammarl and syntax structure known in colloquial terms as "apostrophe es" or ___ 's ____ .
So now, do you remember what you were told way back in grammar school about this particular structure? It has one main function:
to show ownership
This funky little doo-dad is tacked on at the end of a noun, noun phrase, or other noun-like structure to show that the particular noun has ownership of the following subject. For instance:
This is John's bicycle.
The __'s__ lets us know that John is in ownership of the bicycle.
But, as with all things in English, there is an exception to the rule. If this thingy is tacked onto a third-person noun or nearly anything else other than a first or second person noun then it changes its meaning to: hey, I represent something that's been dropped off and in this case it happens to be an "i" as in the word "is."
Case in point: it's -> it is (not ownership!)
Case #2 in point: there's -> there is (definitely not ownership, just imagine the word "there" owning something)

So, with that boring stuff in mind lets get to an example seen in an advertisement:
(names of proper nouns have been changed to keep from embarrassing such tender sensibilities)

"Coffee Company's new line of tasty drinks are now on your grocer's shelves! Try new coffees, mocha's and cappucino's . . .!"

Uh huh, see the problem? There's a plethora of __'s___ in the advert. and most of them are used properly. But, oh dear reader, what the hell does the mocha and cappucino have possession of? Do these drinks suddenly possess the drinker as soon as they are consumed?

I think not.

A denizen of this strange world of ours

2005-06-01T19:33:00.000+09:30

I'm a big fan of the paranormal, supernatural and all things related. I'm also a big fan of Wikipedia, the on-line encyclopedia with heaps of articles on nearly everything. Take this for example . . . while I was reading an article on a supernatural creature sighting of the "Mothman" I ran across an interesting article on a person/creature called "Spring Heeled Jack." Not being British I had never heard of this, uh, thing before. Like scores of people before me I have become rather interested in the story and the myth. If you would like to read the article on "Spring Heeled Jack" the link is here.

If you run across anything that is of a similar sort to the article, on some paranormal or supernatural event or creature, feel free to e-mail it to me.

What of this world of ours?

2005-05-23T21:10:00.000+09:30

A friend of mine overseas has an incredible ability to find articles on the net that are funny and/or amusing. Regardless of their impact they are always telling, to some degree, about this epoch of society we find ourselves in at the moment. The link to this story is here.

After you read the article, ask yourself this:

What does the woman's reaction tell us about our modern world?

also

Is the desire to do good being crushed and driven out of people by the idiots of the world?

Thus goes the cycle of nature

2005-05-23T16:17:00.000+09:30

In my last post I wrote about a newborn lamb, abandoned by its mother, that we took in to bottle raise. Well, the survival odds for such a little fellow are about 50:50 at best. Sad to say, but Louie the lamb died in his sleep late Sunday night. Despite the loss we've learned some lessons about bottle raising sheep. I did some research on the net and found a recipe for a milk formula to help raise abandoned lambs. It's mostly full fat milk but it also contains a beaten egg, some corn syrup and some cod liver oil. To me it sounds dreadful . . . I made a pseudo version (milk-egg-table sugar) of it last night in hopes it might help Louie to no avail. He was too weak to really do much of anything but sleep. So, if we end up with another little one in the house I'll let you all know.

Louie the Lamb

2005-05-22T19:05:00.000+09:30

As some of you may know, the wife and I are currently living on my in-laws' country vineyard property in the hills outside of Adelaide. Aside from the typical wildlife one might expect on a small vineyard, we also have around 25 or so sheep. Well, the sheep are all about to start popping out little lambs . . . one has already been borne and upwards of 10 or so more are expected. Anyway, this first lamb is named Louie and he's about two or so days old. The poor little fella was abandoned by his mother and we now have the job of raising him until he's old enough to be on his own with the other sheep. Now, before you go and get upset at his mother you should keep in mind why she abandoned him. Apparently sheep, during drought seasons, will abandon lambs as soon as they are borne because the mother cannot adaquately raise a healthy baby. Currently we're in drought conditions here in Adelaide so Louie's mother abandoned him thinking that tough times are on the way. Have no fear, though, we're supplementing the sheeps typical grazing with bails of hay and processed food pellets. The sheep go absolutely crazy over these things . . . I have no idea why, perhaps because they look like compressed grass and hay.
Louie, on the other hand, is being kept indoors at night to keep him warm and is currently being fed full fat milk from a bottle. He's a bit unstable on his feet but he seems happy . . . that is, as happy as you could expect. His days are rather full of eating, pooing, sleeping, making little lamb noises, and trying to follow the nearest person.
So, stay tuned to the blog for more updates on Louie the lamb. I might even see if I can stick some photos on here to show you the little guy.
Another project in the works is the "Beer Files" . . . all about my exploits during my first attempt to create a home brew. All in all there should be some good stuff coming up so stick with me . . .

Today in History, May 2

2005-05-02T16:43:00.000+09:30

Here's another factoid to add to the collection of "Today in History" . . .

-In 1933 today, the very first modern sighting of Loch Ness monster took place. From this have come heaps and heaps of photographs, first-hand witness accounts and really bad television shows.

Today in History April 27th

2005-04-27T16:38:00.000+09:30

Being someone who loves trivia and facts, be they useful or useless, I present you with:

An Important Event that Happened Today: April 27th

1667: John Milton, famous English poet and writer, sells the copyright for his masterpiece Paradise Lost for a pitifully small sum of 10 pounds sterling. Keep in mind that he was dirt poor and blind by this time.

What's that floating in the water?

2005-04-27T16:32:00.000+09:30

I love odd, wierd and off the wall news. Sometimes even the gory bits make it better. Take this one for example. Apparently somewhere in Iowa they're having trouble with organic, chunky, fleshy blobules appearing in the water system. Mmm . . . almost like liquified beef. Yummy.

News Story: Flesh Chunks Found in Iowa Water Lines

Oh we litigious people . . .

2005-04-27T16:16:00.000+09:30

Americans have a reputation of being litigious, sue-happy people. I can't dispute that; theorhetically speaking it's a carry over in our culture from Puritanical influences. I'm not hear to rant and rave about the Puritans, though. While Americans do have this reputation, a friend of mine sent me the article linked below that proves not only Americans are sue-happy. Apparently Canada, that friendly neighbour to the north, has a growing streak of litigiousness. Take a read over the article and see for yourself:

http://www.canada.com/fortstjohn/story.html?id=356f30ac-6bf6-4f8b-9266-f235501470c4

You may have to cut and paste the link above into your web browser . . . or maybe not.

Other peoples nice stuff

2005-04-21T23:50:00.000+09:30

There's this nifty thing folks do here in Australia . . . it's called "Hard Rubbish Day." What happens is that folks leave "hard rubbish", or large or odd particulate matter that won't fit in the wheelie-bin. Think of it this way, it turns suburbia into an ecclectic yardsale . . . with no price tags.
So, in the tradition of hard rubbish day I am going to leave someone else's nice stuff out for everyone else to paw and filander. Here it is:

A good friend of mine has a blog that you might like

http://eldandy.blogspot.com/

Get your hands off of me you damn dirty ape!

2005-04-21T22:55:00.000+09:30

So, I personally think that monkeys and chickens are two of the funniest animals in the world. I'd also have to admit that cows and cats can have their humorous times as well but primates and flightless fowl still take top. Anyway, you can imagine my gleeful delight when I stumbled across an article describing, believe it or not, SWAT monkeys. It would seem that the fine state of Arizona might end up training a monkey or two to do the really tough and dangerous jobs most cops wouldn't touch. So, would you like some little spider monkey (like the one from the movie "Outbreak") negotiating your release from a hostage situation? Or, that same monkey being responsible for defusing a bomb strapped to your groin? Hmm . . . what a thought for the day. If you'd like to read the article in question, here's the link:

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&amp;ncid=757&e=2&u=/nm/20050420/od_nm/odd_swatmonkey_dc

Science . . . Now that's money well spent!

2005-04-21T22:45:00.000+09:30

I just read somewhere recently that a crack team of scientists have explained the mystery behind unpopped pop-corn kernels. Wow! Then again, good money has also been spent on researching the flow rate of various condiments including mustard, ketchup and Thousand Island dressing.
So, who needs a cure for cancer when we have these mysteries of the food world explained for us!

Perhaps some purpose?

2005-04-21T22:30:00.000+09:30

I think I have beginner's excitement seeing as this is my second post within 10 or so minutes. Anyway . . . I'm one of those wierd people who love urban legends and really odd news and stuff like "The Darwin Awards." It got me thinking, though . . . Why do people love to read about other people doing outrageously horrible things to themselves or others? Why do people love to be scared? Why are monkeys and chickens the funniest animals?

I can't answer these questions . . . but I do know that those sorts of things are very entertaining.

Also, being a U.S. expatriate living in Australia I was slightly surprised to see how far urban legends (I thought were uniquely American) have spread. Oh, don't get me wrong . . . every country has their unique set, but American legends have spread like wild fire. Perhaps it falls into the Coke-McDonalds-Levis cancer that has spread everywhere. I'll stop there before I become too political.

The Start of Yet Something Else Useless on the Internet

2005-04-21T22:00:00.000+09:30

Well hello there! Welcome to my first blog. I'll say some things up front:
(1) I have no pentultimate purpose for this blog
(2) I cannot promise I will post rantings, ravings, observations or other such related writings on a regular basis
(3) I am a slacking procrastinator, hence number (2)
(4) This blog will, at the most, serve the interests of myself . . . and perhaps a few friends
(5) Your attendance at this blog is greatly appreciated and, hopefully, no dangerous cookies, spyware, viruses or the like have been loaded surrepticiously onto your computer
(6) I reserve the right to spel things howevr I danm well pleeze and use grammar English in way whatever me serves best
. . . and lastly . . .
(7) I cannot promise I will be funny, entertaining or in anyway useful so read at your own risk.

So . . . here we go . . .